Concerns

I read too much. I always have.

When I was in the sixth grade, I lived in Germany; Bavaria, really. Most of my education to that point had been through the U.S Department of Defense schools, as my father was in the U.S. Army and did not retire until after I had graduated from high school.

We were tested yearly to see at which grade level we were reading. That sixth grade year ('80-'81) I fell in the range of a College Sophomore. I say this for two reasons, one, the point will be made in a to-be-written blog that even with my level of capability and intellect, many of my opportunities as a human being had been squelched due to the doctrines of the Christian society at home and in my community, and secondly, you can translate that as I read voraciously.

All kinds of stuff! We owned two full sets of encyclopedias, and a set of yearbooks that started the year before I was born. I read both sets and most of the yearbooks. Not every entry, of course, some topics aren't as interesting as others to me, just like everyone else. However, I started at book one, and turned every single page, reading what interested me, and scanning the rest.

Part of my evolution, and should be part of yours, is the changing of interests. Reaching past what you have enjoyed and may still enjoy learning about. Exploring subjects that, before this day, you had not even thought about in any serious context.

Your world opens up more for an internal debate between what you know, and what you are discovering. Where does this new information get filed? The reality file? The cool tidbit file? The complete bullshit file?

Or better yet, what happens when what you are exploring challenges your established viewpoint? As a 10 year old, I could comprehend on a college level, but emotionally, all I knew was that this god was watching over me, and if I didn't believe in him, if I challenged that belief or believed any other type of religion, I was going to be separated from my beloved and close-knit family. How utterly terrifying for a child!

It is no wonder that giving up your ticket on the Jesus plane takes so long for some of us.

Now I read so much more regarding both sides of the theist/atheist argument. And it scares me. I knew that there were religious nuts out there, even when I held a belief in god, but the sheer amount of hate-filled conjecture out there by the religious seems just as egotistical and unyielding as Hitler and his Nazi army.

Oh, I didn't want to get into my tirade on how religion is the root cause of most wars and human suffering of all kinds, so I will drop off of that and get to this entry's main point.

I am concerned that this type of public forum may attract some of this hate filled projectile-style cursing vomitus to be splattered all over my pages. While I eagerly invite discussion from both sides, I will not be swayed by that type of communication. I will not lower myself to answer to it, nor will I read it, so don't waste your time.

Better yet, instead of doing such a thing as condemning me, maybe you should do what I'm about to do. Power down, and go outside to work in my garden so I can enjoy this one day in my life, and add it to the collection of perfect days I have had.
Don't burn your day...

My Own Evolution - Genesis

I have always had some question.

Not a particular one, mind you, but a plethora of need-to-know dilemmas which have driven my existence from day one. I suspect every human has this innate desire to know, some of us just can not settle down until the most central questions are answered to our satisfaction.

Sometimes the answers are so simple, they are right there. Other times they are difficult to comprehend. To find these answers, our minds must evolve as we grow from the helpless infant state to one of maturity and autonomy where we can process vast amounts of calculations and informative bits to classify and understand our world and ourselves.

When we find the answer it is like a glorious light. I see that light come on for people all the time, it's in the eyes. One second, struggling to understand, then *ding*, a light twinkles in the eyes as the a-ha moment opens up the world a little more.



I was raised in a protestant (baptist) home. My mother is of scotch-irish and native american descent and was born in the Appalachian mountains in the extreme western portion of Virginia, a 'stones throw' from Kentucky. Dad's line is welsh, and they have been centered in the swamps and farmlands of south eastern Virginia and North Carolina. The 300 year old family seat is a still operating farm near Murfreesboro, North Carolina.

Thankfully, my dad had chafed early on to the hypocrisy he witnessed from the church-going community around him, and as a result we did not attend church services regularly. However, my younger brother and I were brought up within the basic tenets of the religion of our parents and their parents.

Of course, my early questions got answers from within a christian worldview. My world was created by this bearded man whose picture was in my children's bible. There was a heaven for good girls and boys and a devil (my mom rarely said 'Hell', it was a curse word in our house) that bad girls and boys went to when they died. But, if we tried to be good, and believed that Jesus was our god's son we would be able to live with our parents and our cousins and our aunts and uncles and our dogs when we got to the pearly gates of heaven....

blah blah blah...you know, many of you grew up in this same bubble.

The problem was, the questions I had about the world I was physically living in were not satisfactorily answered in that illustrated children's bible.

Sadly, it took much more than a few science classes and a couple of years to get to the point where I can comfortably say that I live in a world with no gods, and for that matter no devils either.

I will tell more about my journey later, for now, go in peace and enjoy your day or night whatever it may be. By all means...don't waste it.